When Donors Ghost You: 3 Smart Fundraising Strategies to Re-Engage Elusive Donors

(Halloween Edition: “Ghosted  –  3 Tricks When Donors Disappear”)

Let’s be honest – this is the real world of major gift fundraising.

You’ve been building a warm relationship with a donor – great meetings, friendly emails, maybe even a conversation about a transformational gift.
And then… silence.

Your inbox feels haunted.
Your calls disappear into the foggy mist. 

If your team has been here lately, you’re not alone.
Donor ghosting happens to every fundraiser, at every level – even in the strongest advancement programs.

And when it does, patience becomes your path back to sanity.

We know how easy it is for everyone to worry about missing donor targets. You start seeing year-end goals slip, and the pressure builds. But often, donor silence has nothing to do with your team’s effort  –  and everything to do with the donor’s world.

That’s why the smartest fundraising teams stay calm, strategic, and focused on what they can control: relationships, not results.

Here are three “tricks” our team uses to help clients navigate the haunted moments of major gift work.

Trick #1: Donor Silence Isn’t About You  –  Here’s How to Stay Grounded

When a donor goes quiet, both fundraisers and managers can start second-guessing everything.
Did we follow up too soon? Did we lose their interest?

But in most cases, donor silence isn’t about you  –  or your work.

They’re managing full lives: travel, health, family, business transitions, or the emotional weight of big decisions. Sometimes they just need space to think, plan, or rest.

Every donor has their own giving rhythm  –  and it rarely lines up neatly with your campaign calendar.

Here’s where leadership plays a crucial role. When managers remind their teams that donor silence is not unusual, it helps everyone stay grounded.

During these times, encourage your team to simply stay present and kind. A short, gracious note like “Thinking of you and wanted to share a bright update from the program you helped make possible” can do more to build trust than a dozen anxious follow-ups.

Patience here isn’t passive. In fact, it’s powerful.

Because when you honor the donor’s timing, you protect both your relationship and your team’s energy.

Trick #2: Use the “Back Burner” Strategy to Re-Engage Donors

We love this strategy – and our clients do, too.

In fact, it’s one of the most popular approaches we teach. When a promising donor goes quiet, we encourage teams to move them to a Back Burner List.

They’re not gone. They’re simply not ready right now.

This list gives fundraisers permission to step back from the constant chase while still tending the relationship. For managers, it creates a shared system  –  so everyone knows who’s active, who’s warming up, and who’s just waiting for the right moment.

Here’s what we recommend coaching teams to do:

• Send a handwritten note with genuine appreciation.
• Share a short update tied to their past giving.
• Pass along a photo, story, or article that speaks to their interests.

No pressure. No ask. Just care and connection.

We’ve coached clients through this many times. One team followed our suggestion to send a simple, one-page impact report to a previously engaged donor who had gone quiet for months. Two weeks later, that donor called back  –  ready to talk.

That’s the magic of the back burner. It’s steady, thoughtful stewardship that keeps relationships warm until the timing clicks.

How We Coach Teams to Focus Major Gift Portfolios

At the Gail Perry Group, we help clients approach their major gift portfolios with focus, not frenzy.

The real question: are your assigned donors truly qualified prospects-or do they need more discovery first?

When fundraisers stop chasing ghosts and start concentrating on active, engaged donors, everything shifts. Morale rises. Confidence builds. And the work feels energizing again.

We guide our clients to regularly assess their portfolios-who’s engaged, who’s cooling off, and who’s ready for a deeper conversation. That clarity helps everyone invest their time and heart where it matters most.

Because major gift success isn’t about volume. It’s about timing, readiness, and trust.

Trick #3: When Donors Stop Responding  –  Work With the Silence

Silence can feel uncomfortable  –  especially when goals are looming. But it’s often a clue, not a crisis.

When donors go quiet, use the pause to reflect.
Ask yourself:

• What might have shifted in their life or priorities?
• Is there someone in your network who can share insight?
• How can you add value right now without making another ask?

Leaders can help their teams reframe ghosting as a pause for learning, not a failure.
This quiet time can be useful – a chance to recalibrate your approach and deepen your understanding of each donor’s journey.

The fundraisers who stay patient, curious, and empathetic are the ones who see donors return  –  ready for renewed engagement.

Bottom Line: Building Long-Term Donor Relationships Takes Patience

Donor ghosting isn’t a curse; it’s part of the rhythm of philanthropy.

Every donor moves at their own pace.
The smartest fundraising teams understand this and stay gracious, consistent, and visible.

So when a donor disappears, don’t chase the ghost.
Keep the light on. Stay calm and confident.

Because when you build trust, respect timing, and focus your energy where it counts, the donors who drift away often come back  –  ready to give again.

P.S. If your donor pipeline feels a little haunted this fall, we can help.
Our Major Gifts Intensive and custom consulting programs show teams how to optimize their portfolios, re-engage back-burner donors, and stay focused on the prospects most ready to give.
Let’s talk about your donor strategy.