Pain Point #2: What to Do When Donors Ghost You!

When a Donor Disappears in Major Gift Fundraising

You’ve been building a great relationship with a donor.
You’ve met for coffee.
They’ve been warm, responsive, and engaged in your mission.

And then – poof. Silence.

No returned calls. No reply to your emails.
It feels like they’ve vanished into thin air.

If you’ve been in major gift fundraising for more than a few months, you’ve likely faced this. It’s frustrating – especially when the donor is a top prospect and you’re counting on them to help meet your year-end goals.

Here’s how to reconnect with donors who’ve gone silent – and how to keep them from ghosting in the first place.

Step 1: Don’t Take Donor Ghosting Personally

When a donor suddenly stops responding, it’s tempting to think you’ve done something wrong. But donors are people too.

They may be facing:

• Health challenges
• Major life changes
• Overloaded schedules
• Financial planning decisions

The timing may simply not be right for them to discuss a gift – and that’s okay.

Step 2: Respect Donor Timing and Preferences

One of the most donor-centered fundraising strategies is to ask:

“When would be the best time to have this conversation with you?”

It’s a gracious, respectful question. It tells your donor you care about their needs, not just your organization’s deadlines.

Also, ask about communication preferences:

• Do they prefer phone calls, email, or text messages?
• How often do they want updates?
• Would they like invitations to in-person events?

Matching your outreach to their preferences builds trust and loyalty – and reduces the risk of donor attrition.

Step 3: Use a “Back Burner” List to Reconnect with Donors

Every major gift officer should have a “back burner” list.

If a donor isn’t ready right now, move them off your top-three prospect list, but keep in touch:

• Send a handwritten thank-you note
• Share a mission update tied to their past giving
• Pass along a news article you know they’d enjoy

Case in point:
Our consultant, Evan Northup, had a major donor go completely silent. No one, not even the CEO, could get through. Months later, Evan sent them a personalized one-page impact report showing the difference their past gifts had made. Two weeks later, the donor called, ready to re-engage.

Step 4: Make Your Communication Transformational, Not Transactional

If you only reach out when you’re asking for money, you’re running a transactional fundraising program -and it’s easy for donors to drift away.

Instead, invite them into the bigger story. Share the mission’s vision, challenges, and successes. Help them see the role they play in transforming lives and advancing your cause.

Step 5: Use Your Network to Understand the Silence

Sometimes the best prospect research comes from people who know your donor.

In campaigns, we use “web of influence” mapping to uncover connections and learn valuable context:

• Are they facing a personal challenge?
• Are they traveling?
• Is there a better time to reach them?

These insights can guide your donor stewardship strategy and help you re-engage without overstepping.

Step 6: Honor Their Timeline – Always

When you ask about a donor’s preferred timing and then respect it, you’re building trust. And trust is the foundation for long-term major gift relationships.

Even if you’re under pressure from leadership to close gifts by year-end, it’s better to wait until the donor is ready. A rushed ask can damage the relationship.

Key Takeaways: How to Re-Engage a Donor Who’s Ghosting You

• Don’t take it personally – it’s often about timing or circumstances.
• Respect their timing and communication preferences.
• Keep them warm on your back burner list.
• Focus on transformational, not transactional, outreach.
• Use your network for context and insight.
• Honor their timetable – it builds trust and leads to bigger gifts.

Bottom line:

Donor ghosting happens to every fundraiser. But with patience, creativity, and a donor-centered approach, you can bring them back into the conversation – often stronger than before.

This Post is Part of Our Major Gift Officer Pain Points Series

This article is one in our special August series tackling the biggest challenges you face as a major gift officer – and how to overcome them.

Each week, we’re unpacking real-world pain points, sharing stories from the field, and giving you practical strategies you can put to work right away.

Below, you’ll find links to the rest of the posts in this series so you can dive deeper into the topics that matter most for your major gift fundraising success.

Pain Point #1: Find the Hidden Major Gift Potential in Your Database
Pain Point #3: Major Gift Fundraising Gone Wrong – When You Ask Too Early